I've Got Crabs!

In this crazy crab dream, I was driving a dune buggy across a dirt road.  The road then turned into thick bundled cable wires that were suspended high over a massive canyon.  I kept driving but was a little freaked out.  Once I got to the other side, there was a group of people around a bonfire.  They were drinking beer and cooking dinner so I decided to stay for a bit, even though I didn’t know anyone.

There was a small cage filled with huge crabs that were being steamed over a smaller open fire.  I looked closer at the cage and saw a little boy inside it, gnawing on a live crab.  Nobody seemed to care so I walked over and grabbed what I thought was a dead crab.  As I put it on my plate, it sprang to life and jumped towards me.  It latched onto my face with one of its huge claws and I immediately woke up.

After I Killed Him, I stuffed His Body Into an Empty Paint Can

In this intense and weird dream, I was hiding on a beach with two guys I didn’t know.  We were behind a small sand dune, watching three guys dump a dead body into the ocean.  After they were done they walked towards us and one of them spotted me.  They sprinted towards us so we buried ourselves in the sand.

As I was lying on my back covered in sand, one of the guys stepped on my stomach and I jerked up in pain.  They picked me up and left me with a muscle-bound guy who was instructed to kill me.  He approached me quickly and I pounded him over the head with my closed fist, instantly killing him.

I frantically looked for a place to hide his body.  At first I hid him under a bench.  I then carried him into a nearby house and hid him under a bed.  Not happy with this hiding place, I decided to cram him into an empty paint can and surprisingly he fit into it.

I then walked into an empty warehouse and there was a sea of shelves, each completely filled with paint cans.  I put my can on an empty spot on one of the shelves.  The band Steel Dragon was playing in the background and the song was “We All Die Young.”

A friend of mine suddenly walked into the warehouse and told me he was looking for the guy I had killed and said he couldn’t leave without him.  I saw an axe on the wall so I quickly grabbed it.  I took a full swing at him and just before the blade was going to hit my friends chest, I turned it a bit and the blunt end of the axe hit him.

Watching Myself Ride the Ski Lift

In this weird ski dream, I was riding on a ski lift with a woman I didn't know.  There was no snow at the base of the mountain but as we moved higher in elevation, there was more and more snow below us.  Eventually, there was so much snow we could rest our skis on top of it.

For some reason, I had trouble hanging onto my ski poles.  I dropped one of them in the snow below me and as I tried to reach for it, I fell into the deep powder.  I was lying on my back looking up at the ski lift, only to see myself still sitting next to the woman.

Flying Fish the Size of Volkswagens

In this strange flying fish dream, I was partying on a large boat with a bunch of people, speeding across the water.  I recognized a few of the women.  It was sunny out and everyone was in their bathing suits, having a good time.  There was a woman standing by herself at the very front of boat, watching some small fish jump in and out of the water.  Suddenly the fish were getting bigger and flying directly into her, one after another.  They kept hitting her in the face but she wouldn’t move.  I just stood there and watched.  A fish the size of a Volkswagen Beetle then flew out of the water and slammed into her, knocking her over the side of the boat. 

Next thing I knew, we were all lying on the beach, which was covered with snow.  There was ice in the water but we were swimming nonetheless.  Then a snowball fight broke out.  As I was sitting on the beach, I could still see small fish jumping out of the water.  A large one jumped out and was coming right for my face.  Just before it was going to hit me, I woke up.

My Only Weapon Was a Cadbury Easter Egg

In this spy dream, I was on a secret mission in Germany, trapped in an underground lair with a group of strangers.  However, I recognized one person and that was Dwayne Johnson.  Of course, better known as The Rock.  We were surrounded by thick concrete walls that looked impenetrable.  We searched everywhere for a way to escape but found nothing.  Frustrated, a guy pulled out a sledge hammer and swung it wildly into the walls with no success.  I leaned back against a rock, which must have triggered a switch as the floor opened up and a staircase appeared.

We all walked down the long staircase and into a dark corridor.  At the end of it was a secured door with an illuminated keypad next to it.  I typed in some random numbers and the door opened.  We piled through it and into a large cave that had a massive body of water in front of it.  A boat was speeding away and on it was a guy who looked like Jesus, but he was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt.  Apparently he was the guy we were after but there was no chance of catching him.

A submarine then surfaced and out game a few guys with guns.  We tried to hide but I was spotted.  One guy fired a hand gun at me and bullets whizzed by my head.  None of us had weapons but I looked in my hand and I was holding what looked like a Cadbury Easter egg.  I tossed it at the submarine and it exploded like a hand grenade, sinking the vessel.

With All That Fresh Snow, I was Skiing on Dirt

In this cool skiing dream, I was swooshing down a large mountain at the Squaw Valley ski resort.  At first I was on some lush powder and then I was on dirt and small rocks.  I could see other people skiing on the snow but I couldn’t seem to get myself off the dirt.  I then skied over this jump and caught some pretty good air.

By mid air I noticed I was now flying over a small rectangular lake that was surrounded by bleachers with thousands of screaming fans.  As if I knew what I was doing, I performed some twists and flips and landed perfectly on a stage at the far end of the lake. The crowd stood up and gave me a standing ovation.

A Bad Case of Stockholm Syndrome

In this strange dream, I was being held hostage by a couple of teenage boys.  I don’t know what crime they committed but the cops had them surrounded in an abandoned warehouse.  The kids were blindly firing their guns out the window.  One of them handed me a gun and said, “You’re with us now.”  I must have had Stockholm Syndrome as I gladly took it and started shooting at the cops.  Then we all ran out the back door.

We sprinted across an open field and ducked into a small house.  Once inside, we sat on a small couch.  A large guy immediately rushed out of a bedroom and yelled, “Okay, who has the stuff?”  Nobody said anything.  He got in my face and screamed the same question.  I told him I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.  He yelled even louder, demanding I give him the drugs.  I denied that I had anything.  He reached into one of jacket pockets and pulled out a baggie full of cocaine.  One of the kids gave me a high five.