Watching Myself Ride the Ski Lift

In this weird ski dream, I was riding on a ski lift with a woman I didn't know.  There was no snow at the base of the mountain but as we moved higher in elevation, there was more and more snow below us.  Eventually, there was so much snow we could rest our skis on top of it.

For some reason, I had trouble hanging onto my ski poles.  I dropped one of them in the snow below me and as I tried to reach for it, I fell into the deep powder.  I was lying on my back looking up at the ski lift, only to see myself still sitting next to the woman.

Flying Fish the Size of Volkswagens

In this strange flying fish dream, I was partying on a large boat with a bunch of people, speeding across the water.  I recognized a few of the women.  It was sunny out and everyone was in their bathing suits, having a good time.  There was a woman standing by herself at the very front of boat, watching some small fish jump in and out of the water.  Suddenly the fish were getting bigger and flying directly into her, one after another.  They kept hitting her in the face but she wouldn’t move.  I just stood there and watched.  A fish the size of a Volkswagen Beetle then flew out of the water and slammed into her, knocking her over the side of the boat. 

Next thing I knew, we were all lying on the beach, which was covered with snow.  There was ice in the water but we were swimming nonetheless.  Then a snowball fight broke out.  As I was sitting on the beach, I could still see small fish jumping out of the water.  A large one jumped out and was coming right for my face.  Just before it was going to hit me, I woke up.

My Only Weapon Was a Cadbury Easter Egg

In this spy dream, I was on a secret mission in Germany, trapped in an underground lair with a group of strangers.  However, I recognized one person and that was Dwayne Johnson.  Of course, better known as The Rock.  We were surrounded by thick concrete walls that looked impenetrable.  We searched everywhere for a way to escape but found nothing.  Frustrated, a guy pulled out a sledge hammer and swung it wildly into the walls with no success.  I leaned back against a rock, which must have triggered a switch as the floor opened up and a staircase appeared.

We all walked down the long staircase and into a dark corridor.  At the end of it was a secured door with an illuminated keypad next to it.  I typed in some random numbers and the door opened.  We piled through it and into a large cave that had a massive body of water in front of it.  A boat was speeding away and on it was a guy who looked like Jesus, but he was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt.  Apparently he was the guy we were after but there was no chance of catching him.

A submarine then surfaced and out game a few guys with guns.  We tried to hide but I was spotted.  One guy fired a hand gun at me and bullets whizzed by my head.  None of us had weapons but I looked in my hand and I was holding what looked like a Cadbury Easter egg.  I tossed it at the submarine and it exploded like a hand grenade, sinking the vessel.

With All That Fresh Snow, I was Skiing on Dirt

In this cool skiing dream, I was swooshing down a large mountain at the Squaw Valley ski resort.  At first I was on some lush powder and then I was on dirt and small rocks.  I could see other people skiing on the snow but I couldn’t seem to get myself off the dirt.  I then skied over this jump and caught some pretty good air.

By mid air I noticed I was now flying over a small rectangular lake that was surrounded by bleachers with thousands of screaming fans.  As if I knew what I was doing, I performed some twists and flips and landed perfectly on a stage at the far end of the lake. The crowd stood up and gave me a standing ovation.

A Bad Case of Stockholm Syndrome

In this strange dream, I was being held hostage by a couple of teenage boys.  I don’t know what crime they committed but the cops had them surrounded in an abandoned warehouse.  The kids were blindly firing their guns out the window.  One of them handed me a gun and said, “You’re with us now.”  I must have had Stockholm Syndrome as I gladly took it and started shooting at the cops.  Then we all ran out the back door.

We sprinted across an open field and ducked into a small house.  Once inside, we sat on a small couch.  A large guy immediately rushed out of a bedroom and yelled, “Okay, who has the stuff?”  Nobody said anything.  He got in my face and screamed the same question.  I told him I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.  He yelled even louder, demanding I give him the drugs.  I denied that I had anything.  He reached into one of jacket pockets and pulled out a baggie full of cocaine.  One of the kids gave me a high five.

Jail Break!

In this strange prison dream, I was in a jail cell with a guy I didn’t know and we were going to break out.  I knew this guy had broken out of prison before so I assumed he had a good plan.  My back was towards him and when I turned around, he was already climbing up a rope ladder and out of our cell.  He looked down at me and said, “Well come on.”  So I climbed up the ladder and we broke out of jail together.

We then found ourselves at an old lumber mill.  I thought it was abandoned until I heard a conveyor belt start up.  On it were large wooden barrels, each containing a chicken with only their heads exposed.  At the end of what looked like an assembly line was a guy with a hammer.  As each barrel went by him, he clubbed each chicken over the head, immediately killing it.

A little freaked out, we got the hell out of there.  It was now dark out and we were in an open field.  We saw a bunch of cops with guns and flashlights, no doubt searching for us.  We hid behind some shrubs and heard a guy rapidly approaching.  He pulled out a large sword, hacked threw the bushes and was only a few feet from us.  I stood up and thrust a thin fencing sword into his stomach and the blade came out through his lower back.  He pulled it out, looked at the weapon and just started laughing uncontrollably.

The Devil Plays a Mean Centerfield

In this nightmare, I was playing baseball against the devil.  He was the centerfielder for the opposing team.  He was enormous, bright red and had small horns.  Every time one of our players would get a hit and run to the base, the devil would morph into another player on the field and tag us out.  Somehow we managed to get the bases loaded but the devil executed a triple play.  I got a hit and was running towards first base when the devil appeared and tagged me out.  Pissed, I charged him but he disappeared and didn’t return.

I then found myself at a house I’d never been in before.  It was late at night and all the lights were out but there was some moonlight coming in through the windows.  I slowly walked throughout the house to see if the devil had followed me there but there was no sign of him.  As I made my way down a hallway, the front door slammed open and the devil charged in.  He immediately saw me and gave me a subtle grin.  I rushed him and he stabbed me in the stomach with a gold-pointed spear.  I immediately woke up.