Shaquille O'Neal is a Whore!

In this celebrity dream, I was at a house party with several women and a couple of guys, but I didn’t know any of them.  Shaquille O'Neal walked into the living room completely naked.  Apparently he was a prostitute.  All of the girls stared at him and giggled in excitement.  He approached them and they chatted for a bit.  I heard one of the girls ask her friend for $150, which she then handed over to Shaq.  They left the room together and didn’t return.

I walked outside and there were a lot of people partying on the front lawn and driveway.  I saw my Jag with the trunk open and people were pulling beer out of it.  I ran down to my car and saw it was completely filled with ice and a full assortment of beer.  I grabbed a beer and then slammed the trunk on some guy’s hand.  He screamed in pain.  But when I looked at him, blood was gushing from his nose and mouth.  His buddy sprinted towards me and I thought I was going to get pummeled.  He ran right by me and took a swing at a group of nearby guys.  They beat the hell out of him and when the guy walked back, his face was bloodied too.

 

Body Surfing Down the Streets of Monterey

In this funny surfing dream, I was in my apartment but I was living in Monterey, California.  There were a bunch of people I didn’t know in my living room.  Somebody opened my front door and a huge wave instantly crashed through my apartment.  We left the door open and decided we’d body surf the next wave that came through.  As expected, another swell was forming in the distance and it was moving swiftly down the street.  We all ran outside and when the water hit us, a bunch of us rode the wave back into my living room and crashed against the wall.  We did this a couple more times.

When the next wave started to form, it was absolutely enormous.  So big it was knocking over cars and buses.  It eventually made its way to my apartment and completely flooded it.  I found some dry space on top of a tall book shelf and was trying to keep my phone and camera from getting wet.  I then climbed out a window and saw the streets were completely flooded with at least 10 feet of water.  My brother floated by me on a wooden desk.

Huge Waves and Sea Creatures in San Diego

In this bizarre ocean dream, I was in San Diego hanging out at the beach with a group of my old college buddies.  I went into the ocean and as I was floating in the water, I noticed several large sea creatures near me, including some whales.  They started circling me and were growing larger in number.  A couple of large fins surfaced and I immediately thought, “Shark!”  I panicked and tried to swim to shore but I was getting nowhere.  I froze for a brief second and a huge wave poured down on me and washed me to where my friends were sitting.  They kept talking amongst themselves, not realizing what had happened to me.

I then found myself driving along the coastline in an open-top Jeep Wrangler.  I was admiring the view of the ocean when 50-foot waves started to form.  I watched them crash down near the beach, fully expecting to get pulverized by them.  However, the instant they hit the sand they disintegrated.  I kept driving and was now traveling over a large bridge.  Suddenly the large sea creatures that were terrorizing me in the ocean were now popping up through the road.

White Socks, Dark Suit

In this strange dream, I was with my boss at an investor conference in New York at a large hotel.  He was the guest speaker but wasn’t presenting for a few hours so we went our separate ways.  We made plans to meet in the lobby at 2:00pm, a half hour before his presentation.  I decided to go to the hotel bar and have a drink to kill some time.  While sitting at the bar, I met a woman and we started drinking heavily until we were both pretty hammered.  We went to my hotel room and passed out immediately.  I woke up at 2:00pm and panicked.

I frantically tried to put my suit on but things were happening in slow motion.  It seemed like an eternity before I got my shoes on and belt buckled.  I tried to hurry to the elevator but found myself unable to run.  I finally got to the conference room at 2:35 and my boss was up on stage, showing some random video that I’d never seen before.  I sat in the very front row, watching his presentation wondering what they hell he was doing.  I decided to kick my feet up on the stage and when I did this, I realized I was wearing white tube socks.

Evil Monkeys!

In this scary monkey dream, I was a passenger in the back of an older van.  We were driving down a single-lane highway in the middle of nowhere and I didn’t know the driver.  I looked out the front window and as far as I could see, there were evil monkey’s lining both sides of the highway.  They all had large swords and were swatting at the van as we drove by them.  I heard a loud thump on top of the van and then saw a sword coming through the metal.  The blade missed me but a monkey hand with long sharp claws reached inside and ripped off a chunk of skin from my right shoulder.

The driver realized what was happening and swerved frantically and the monkey flew off the top of the van.  He kept swerving and I could hear multiple thud sounds and screeching as we ran over countless evil monkeys.  We eventually didn’t see any more of them so we parked the van at the first house we came across.  We went inside expecting to know the owners but when we got into the living room, they were human-sized cat people standing on their hind legs.

Michael Westen, Super Financial Analyst!

In this celebrity dream, I was hanging out with super spy Michael Westen from the TV show Burn Notice.  However, he wasn’t a spy but rather a financial analyst investigating an insider trading case at a large corporation.  Even as a financial guy, he seemed way cool.  I was his right-hand man, helping him with the investigation.  We were driving around in a golf cart – but not on a golf course – and he was working on his laptop, frantically punching numbers into a spreadsheet.  I was perusing some financial documents although I had no idea what I was looking for.  We were growing frustrated since we couldn’t find any hard evidence of insider trading. 

When I looked up from my papers, I noticed we were now on a golf course, driving really fast and quickly approaching a tee box.  We drove over the tee box and there was a 20-foot cliff on the other side but Michael didn’t notice at all.  I thought we would crash for sure but we landed safely and were now in a tunnel, moving at the same speed as the traffic all around us.  Still not aware of his surroundings, he looked up from his laptop and yelled, “I got it!”

World's Biggest Waterfall

In this waterfall dream, I was on a road trip with a few of my friends.  We got lost and then found ourselves walking along a dirt path high above a large river.  Suddenly the ground gave out and we were all sliding down a steep hill.  Then we were freefalling and landed in the river, which was moving swiftly.  We tried swimming to shore but the current was too strong.  There were other people on the river but they were in rafts and didn’t seem to notice us.  Shortly up ahead the river seemed to just drop off so we all grabbed onto a large tree branch and pulled ourselves up on some rocks.  I told my friends I wanted to see how far the drop off was so I leisurely swam to the edge of the river.  I looked down and the drop off was at least a 1,000 feet and at the bottom was a small pool of water.

I explained to my friends that since I was dreaming we could jump off the edge and be fine but they weren’t convinced.  So I swam back to the edge of the river and jumped.  I was falling fast but as I got towards the bottom, I was sucked into a large cave, which became smaller and smaller until it was just a tube.  I slid through this tube at amazing speeds and eventually found myself on a water slide, still moving very fast.  I flew out of the slide during one of the turns and then landed on another slide, right behind a group of Asian women.  When the slide ended, we all got out and I saw my friends coming out of the woods, covered in dirt and sweat and very pissed at me.