Breaking and Entering....and Cleaning

In this weird nightmare, I was home sound asleep when I was awoken by my front door opening. Whoever was breaking into my apartment was clearly not trying to be quiet. I attempted to get up but felt frozen in my bed so I just lied there. I then heard multiple footsteps across my hardwood floors. I also heard several voices but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

　
Having intruders in my home freaked me out but I didn’t feel I was in any danger. Next I heard some other loud noises in my living room but couldn’t figure out what they were. Mainly out of curiosity, I dragged myself out of bed and slowly opened my bedroom door. In my apartment was a small housecleaning crew, vacuuming my carpets and dusting my furniture.

Wicked Smart Zombies

In this surreal zombie dream, I was at this huge and very old hotel. I was walking around outside with some people I didn’t know and we were attacked by zombies. But these were not your typical zombies. They were smarter, bigger and definitely moved faster. A couple of people in our group got mauled but a handful of us escaped to a basement in the hotel.

We then got into a battle with some zombies and I was throwing fire crackers into a large group of them. Everyone in my group died so I ran up some stairs, into a large room and closed the door and held it shut. Some zombies followed me and were trying to push through the door. It suddenly got eerily quiet and then one of the zombies started talking and tried to convince me to open the door.

When he realized I wasn’t going to let them in, they bull rushed the door and were making their way into the room. At this point, I ran out a back door, through the lobby and then down a big flight of stairs. I eventually wound up in a dark bedroom and hid under a bed.

Slide in the Clouds & Clowns at the Circus

In this lucid dream, I was sitting at the very top of a narrow steel slide that was well above the clouds.  As I slid down, I quickly gathered speed and couldn’t see anything except for the puffy white clouds all around me.

I was moving so fast that I started to fly out of the slide and then was I completely freefalling.  I kept falling fast but eventually I was back on the slide, near the bottom.  I then noticed that the end of the slide went into a huge pink and white circus tent.  When I finally came to a stop, I was in the center ring of the tent and circus clowns were all around me.

Pint of Tequila & Neil Patrick Harris

In this celebrity dream, I was hanging out with Neil Patrick Harris at a house party.  There was a group of people standing around a table drinking Tequila shots.  One of the guys asked me if I wanted a shot so I obliged.  He filled up a pint glass with Tequila and handed it to me. 

I grabbed the large shot and drank it down in just a few seconds.  My head immediately felt fuzzy and I proclaimed, "I think I'm done after this."  I woke up the next morning in a large drawer in somebody's bedroom.  I got up and stumbled through the house and out the front door.  I could see my car parked on the street and as I got closer to it, I noticed it was missing the entire hood along with the front and back left fender wells.

Blood on My Face......Top Down on My Jag

In this nightmare, I was sitting at a kitchen table with a group of people I didn’t know.  Suddenly two men with hand guns burst into the room.  Without hesitation, they shot two people in the head at point blank range.  Blood splattered on my face and all over the table.  One of the men shoved a gun hard into my left temple and coldly said, “If you move or a make a sound, I’ll blow your fucking brains out.”  While this was happening, the other guy pulled out a hammer and started beating people with it.  Since I was told not to move, I couldn’t see who was getting hit but could hear deathly screams all around me.

I then found myself outside, watching these same two men spray machine gun fire into another group of people.  I could see my convertible Jaguar parked in a carport about twenty yards away so I made a break for it.  Once I got in the car, I started it up and for some reason decided to put the top down.  Just as I was about to hit the gas, one of the men was in my passenger seat and yelled, “Let’s go!”  So I gunned it and the car roared by the group of people that were still being terrorized by the other guy.  Once we were well away from the chaos, the guy leaned over and said, “You know, under different circumstances, I think we could have been friends.”

I finally parked the car in the middle of a residential street but left it running and got out.  As I was talking to a group of onlookers, a guy I went to college with jumped into my car and sped away.  Apparently he was really drunk.  We could hear him screeching around corners and eventually he made his way back to us.  He slammed on the brakes and slid onto the sidewalk.  The car went up on two wheels, hovered in this position for a second, and then fell onto the left side.  My buddy got and said “Dude, sorry about your car.”

My Naked Ex-Girlfriend Works for Buick

In this lucid dream, I was at an ex-girlfriend’s apartment with a buddy of mine.  She was sleeping naked on the couch so I checked out her ass for a bit then covered her up with a blanket.  We turned on the TV and next thing I knew, I was skydiving.  I hovered above some large pine trees and then over a lake.  When it seemed like I was going to land, I would immediately get elevated again.  I floated over the lake for a while and could see brightly colored sharks swimming after a guy but they couldn’t catch him.

I flew over a golf course and landed on a frontage road.  I then found myself on a bike, pedaling furiously.  Right in front of me landed a golf ball, then another.  I looked back and saw a couple of guys hitting balls in my direction.  I yelled, “Ass!” but I don’t think they heard me.  Suddenly I was back in my ex-girlfriend’s apartment, standing in the kitchen with my buddy.  I asked my friend why he lived with my ex-girlfriend and he replied, “Oh, because she works at Buick now.”

Courtney Cox is my Girlfriend but She's Dying

In this celebrity dream, I was Courtney Cox’s boyfriend and we were lying in bed together spooning.  We were fully clothed and on top of the covers but there were a half-dozen people in the room staring at us.  Apparently she was very sick and didn’t have much time to live.  I started crying uncontrollably since I knew she was going to die very soon.  Nobody in the room said a word but they were all crying.  I was just about to tell her that I loved her when a doctor burst into the room.

He announced that Courtney was no longer ill and was not in any danger of dying.  Without saying a word, she got out of bed and walked out of the room.  The other people followed her while I sat on the bed confused.  Instead of going after her, I called her cell phone but she didn’t answer.  I tried a couple more times with no success.  I sent several text messages but no response.  It seemed like an eternity went by until I finally got a text from her that read, “Wanna catch a movie tonight?”

Patrick Warburton is a Bad Ass!

In this celebrity dream, I was in a small apartment with Patrick Warburton and Megyn Price (husband and wife on the sitcom Rules of Engagement).  They had just bought the place and were setting up their bedroom.  However, instead of one large bed, they were assembling two very small twin beds on opposite sides of the room, which I thought was strange.  Next thing I knew, I was outside looking at the front of the apartment complex.

 

 

One of their neighbors came out of his apartment and was carrying some type of over-the-shoulder man bag.  He was immediately accosted by another man who was trying to steal his man purse.  Then Patrick suddenly came out of his apartment, slowly walked up to the thief and head butted him twice, nearly knocking the guy unconscious.  He fell to the ground and Patrick quickly jumped on top of him and threw several blows down upon the guy’s face.  He finally picked up the guy and threw his lifeless body onto the street.  Patrick then walked back into his apartment.

Turning Hotdog Buns Into Donuts

In this funny donut dream, I owned an auto mechanic shop but quickly realized I was also selling donuts.  Apparently they were really good since everyone that came into the shop was there for the donuts, not to have their car repaired.  From what I could tell there was nobody making the donuts but there seemed to be an endless supply of them in a large stainless steel box.

Eventually, a customer told me we were running low on donuts.  I didn’t know quite what to do so I opened the steel box and saw a bunch of hot dog buns.  I grabbed a bun, kneaded it into a ball, and in a few seconds it turned into a delicious-looking donut.

Neon Boy Turns Into Neon Snake

In this bizarre snake dream, there was a group of kids sitting on their bikes in an open dirt area of a wooded park.  One of the boys biked away from the group, crossed over a small wooden bridge and then got off his bike.  As he was walking his head turned different neon colors: pink, orange, blue, etc.

He then walked up a small hill and morphed into a large black python, but his skin was still changing colors.  He eventually slithered into a small cave at the top of the hill and I found myself in there with him.  However, he was a little kid again and was sitting on a nest of snake eggs.

Uncomfortable Threesome

In this dream, I was sitting on a couch with a girl I didn’t know, but apparently she was my girlfriend.  She was telling me how broke she was and I remember her saying she only had $38 in her savings account.  Sitting to my left was an ex-girlfriend of mine and I felt really uncomfortable, since the two of them had never met.

My girlfriend started going into detail with my ex about things she that turned her on when we were getting physical.  My ex-girlfriend then started to share stories of her own about when I dated her.  At this point I got up and said, “I’ll let you two talk, I’m out of here.”