Bye Bye Birdie

In this crazy dream, I was standing in the living room of a cabin with a woman I didn’t know.  We kept hearing a chirping sound coming from a book case and then suddenly a small bird flew out from behind the books.  It was flying frantically around the living room, trying to find a way outside.  It eventually landed on the carpet and turned into a red ping pong paddle that was missing the handle.

The woman grabbed two pots from the kitchen and scooped up the ping pong paddle and dropped it over the back deck, expecting it to turn back into a bird and fly away.  It just fell to the ground below but after a few seconds, it turned back into a bird.  It then flew up to the deck railing and perched there but a huge hawk flew out of a nearby tree and snatched it up.

Half-Naked Freeway Sunbathers

In this somewhat erotic dream, I was driving on a freeway in the fast lane but I was the only car on the road.  Up ahead to my left I saw a lot of black smoke so I slowed down a bit.  As I got closer I saw flames right off the freeway and some fireman trying to put out the fire with hoses that weren’t attached to anything.  I swerved around them since they were standing in the middle of the left lane.

To my right was some burning debris and once I navigated through that mess, I noticed there were half-naked women sunbathing all over the freeway.  There were at least 10 of them spread out across the pavement on beach towels, all with long black hair, very tan, and wearing only black lacey underwear and bras.

Burn Notice

In this funny dream, I was hanging out with super spies Michael Westin and Fiona, the main characters on the TV show Burn Notice.  In order for Michael to get close to a bad guy he was trying to catch, he had to pretend to be a plane expert.  The plan was for Fiona to build an airplane so he could take the perp for a ride and earn his trust.  When the guy came over to Michael’s house he said, “Is that your plane over there?”, pointing to the side yard.  We all simultaneosly looked over and saw a bright orange, miniature blimp sitting there.

Bass Guitar Hero

In this strange dream, I was on a large stage playing bass guitar in an all base guitar band.  The spotlights were so bright that I couldn’t see the crowd but we were jamming nonetheless.  We didn’t have a lead singer or drummer and we only played bass guitar solos.  I was watching another guy on stage play for a while, waiting for my turn to rock out on my bass guitar.  When he was done, I went right into my solo.

My fingers were moving so fast on the guitar neck that it looked like there were two hands on it.  My other hand was plucking the thick strings furiously and I must have played for five minutes.  When I was done I thought to myself, “Wow, that was awesome since I’ve never played bass guitar before in my life.”  Then the bright spotlights turned off so we could see what we thought would be a huge cheering crowd.  However, we were in a hotel conference room with a bunch of older guys in suits, sitting in classroom style desks, taking notes.

Baseketball

In this funny dream, I was sitting in the right field bleachers at a New York Yankees baseball game but the stadium was very small.  I had my baseball glove on and had caught two balls that were hit into the bleachers.  Next thing I knew, I was inside a small gymnasium watching Jason Segel (Marshall on the sitcom How I Met Your Mother) shooting hoops by himself.  He was also trying to dunk the basketball and I was laughing at him because he couldn’t do it.  He said to me, “I’ll bet you can’t even touch the rim bro.”

Without saying a word, I walked onto the court and grabbed a basketball and dribbled quickly towards the hoop.  I wasn’t sure if I was going to jump off my left leg or right leg but when I got close to the rim, I planted myself and jumped off both legs.  In slow motion I kept moving higher and higher until my head was well above the rim.  I dunked the ball with authority and hung on the rim for a few seconds.  I dropped to the floor and walked back to the bleachers and grabbed my glove and two baseballs.  I opened a metal door that I thought was leading back to the baseball stadium but when I walked through it, I was in a residential neighborhood that I didn’t recognize.

Snow Sledding

In this fun dream, I was at a ski resort near the bottom of a steep mountain.  However, people weren’t skiing but sledding down the hill in blue plastic sleds.  Right in front of me were two fairly large jumps made of snow, one right after the other.  I watched a few people sled down the mountain and go over both jumps and land safely in a bank of snow right after the second jump.

Next thing I knew I was sledding down the hill, heading towards the first jump.  I hit the jump and flew thru the air and then landed, not losing any speed at all.  I hit the second jump and as I was in the air, I flew onto a small wooden deck and skidded across it and slammed into a large net that was made of thick rope.

Tiger Golf

In this crazy dream, I was playing golf with Tiger Woods as part of a publicity stunt he put together to win back his fans, even though there were very few people watching us and it wasn’t being televised.  We played a few holes together and I was pounding cans of beer like they were going out of style, since I was a little nervous.  He commented to me, “Dude, you need to slow down on the booze,” but I kept drinking.

We were about to tee off over a large lake when then this huge black snack thrashed out of the water.  It must have been five stories tall and ten-feet wide.  It sprung out of the lake and slithered across the fairway towards some golfers who were screaming and running for their lives.  We watched the enormous snake terrorize a bunch more people and then it went back into the water and submerged.  We proceeded to tee off and hit our balls over the lake like nothing happened.